he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
