Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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