Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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(848): View more from New Jersey

You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?

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(716): View more from New York

You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

You dont lie about slip and slides

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3

(906): View more from Michigan

Omg sara

(920): View more from Wisconsin

I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.

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(585): View more from New York

Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder

(732): View more from New Jersey

Eh it happens

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