And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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