he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
