what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Blood and glitter go together right?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
