K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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