can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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