I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
