Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My pussy is not your playground.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
