That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
