We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
