New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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