kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
