My sheets look like a crime scene.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
COCAINE IS GR8
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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