please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
