Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
