Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
