oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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