i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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