If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
FUCK WHALES
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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