so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
