Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
