Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
