I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
