My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize