i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize