woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
