laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
