I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we made out on top of his cat.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
