When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
