Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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