He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
