i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
