We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
