I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
