It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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