i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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