I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
