I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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