We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
