R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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