she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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