So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
