At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
