Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I need moral support for this bender
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
