Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
