Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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