i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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