I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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