You're so nebulous sometimes
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
