Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
