That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She's the barista slut.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
