drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
