Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's like iHOP with fire
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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