Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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