Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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