I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
