Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
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