watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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