we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this just has baby written all over it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize