I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
