I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize