Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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