I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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