We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize