She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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