who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
