I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i think im in europe. pls send help
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
