Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
dude. I can hear the air.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
