I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
