It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Drunk is not a location!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
