how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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