the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
