is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
