I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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