she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why didn't you poke me back
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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