it wasn't lemon gatorade
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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