Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
