I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
