My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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