can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
